Ralph's Quote Collection


Carpe Diem

Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
          --Goethe

There is no security on this earth; there is only opportunity.   --General Douglas MacArthur

Asking for permission is seeking denial.

Ducharme's Precept:   Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.   --Theodore Roosevelt

Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.   --Susan Ertz

Things may come to those who wait but only the things left by those who hustle.   --Abraham Lincoln

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.   --Will Rogers

A great deal of talent is lost to the world for want of a little courage.   --Goethe

Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.   --Ralph Waldo Emerson

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.   --Margaret Mead

Well done is better than well said.   --Ben Franklin

On Design and Planning

Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.   --Albert Einstein

Luck is the residue of design.   --Branch Rickey

Results! Why, man, I have gotten a lot of results. I know several thousand things that won't work.   --Thomas A. Edison.

Serendipity is looking in a haystack for a needle and discovering the farmer's daughter.   --Julias H. Comroe

If you're doing something the same way you have been doing it for ten years, the chances are you are doing it wrong.   --Charles Kettering

If you're planning based on the customer, you're looking in a rearview mirror. You're not looking ahead.   --George Colony, Forrester Research--quoted in The Wall Street Journal

Again & again the impossible problem is solved when we see that the problem is only a tough decision waiting to be made.   --Dr. Robert H. Schuller

Get Smart

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence.   --Bertrand Russell

The intelligence of any discussion diminishes with the square of the number of participants.   --Adam Walinsky

90% of what is thought shouldn't be said;
90% of what is said shouldn't be written;
90% of what is written shouldn't be published;
90% of what is published shouldn't be read;
90% of what is read shouldn't be remembered.
          --Israel Salenter

Smart is when you believe only half of what you hear. Brilliant is when you know which half to believe.

The function of the expert is not to be more right than other people, but to be wrong for more sophisticated reasons.   --Dr. David Butler, British psephologist (one who studies political elections)

Mediocre people are very, very dangerous when they get together. There's one thing they are not mediocre about, and that is fighting off people who are superior. And they make it appear that you've got to be a genius to be mediocre!   --Bill Cosby

Peter's Paradox:   Employees in a hierarchy do not really object to incompetence in their colleagues.   --Laurance J. Peter

The number of people watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

If you don't know what you're doing, do it neatly.

Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats.   --Howard Aiken

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success!

Modern Technology

Ask not for whom the bell tolls, and you will pay only the station-to-station rate.

"AT&T" is a modem test command.   --Drew Derbyshire (author of UUPC, a UUCP clone for DOS)

"Maintenance-free" means that when it breaks, it can't be fixed.

If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.   --Dykstra

Managing programmers is like herding cats.

The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.   --B.F.Skinner

The nice thing about standards is that you have so many to choose from. Furthermore, if you don't like any of them, you can just wait for next year's model.   --Andrew S. Tanenbaum (in "Computer Networks", 4.7.1)

Some "computer proverbs" (from Ben Woodbridge, in rec.humor.funny, 14 Jun 1998):

Miscellaneous Silliness

Superconductor - Amtrak's Employee of the Year.

I can't understand why a person will take a year or two to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.   --Fred Allen

Virtue Is Its Own Reward

We are not punished for our sins, but by them.

I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.   --Mae West

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.   --Mae West

I see you're a man with ideals. I better be going while you've still got them.   --Mae West

The surest protection against temptation is cowardice.   --Mark Twain

Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.   --Elizabeth Bibescu

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely. Broad, wholesome, charitable views...can not be acquired by vegetating in one's little corner of earth.   --Mark Twain, "Innocents Abroad" (1869)

The man who has nothing to boast of but his illustrious ancestors is like a potato... the only good belonging to him is underground.   --Thomas Overbury

Advice

Start every day off with a smile--and get it over with.   --W.C. Fields

Forgive your enemies, but remember their names.   --John F. Kennedy

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.   --Mark Twain (1835-1910)

Few things help an individual more than to place responsibility upon him, and to let him know you trust him.   --Booker T. Washington

Flatter me, and I may not believe you.
Criticize me, and I may not like you.
Ignore me, and I may not forgive you.
Encourage me, and I will not forget you.
          --William Arthur Ward

Field Guide to the Human Race

I speak Spanish to God, Italian to women, French to men, and German to my horse.   --Charles V of France

There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who can't.   (terrylee@bigwpi.wpi.edu)

A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have enlightened him with ours.

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.   --Winston Churchill

A fanatic is someone who does what he knows that God would do if God knew the facts of the case.

Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.   --Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron -- namely, that he is a blockhead.   --Ambrose Bierce

In each human heart there are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.   --Ambrose Bierce

Politics

Politics is like coaching a football team. You have to be smart enough to understand the game but not smart enough to lose interest.

La politique est l'art d'empecher les gens de se meler de ce qui les regarde. (Politics is the art of preventing people from taking part in affairs which properly concern them.)   --Paul Valery, French poet and critic (1871-1945)

We, the people, are not free. Our democracy is but a name. We vote? What does that mean? We choose between Tweedledum and Tweedledee.   --Helen Keller

If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich.   --John F. Kennedy

I can remember when a good politician had to be 75 percent ability and 25 percent actor, but I can well see the day when the reverse could be true.   --Harry Truman

The Next Generation

A classified ad quoted in "More Anguished English" by Richard Lederer:
"Extrememly independent male, 17 years old, needs to rent room. Call his mother at ..."

From "More Students' History of the World", reported in "Anguished English" by Richard Lederer:
The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. Shakespeare was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He lived at Windsor with his merry wives, writing tragedies, comedies, and errors.

On Your Way Out

Visits always give pleasure--if not the arrival, then the departure.

Fish and visitors stink after three days.   --Benjamin Franklin

Those who his company eschew
  Complain, "His parting's overdue!"
While those who count his presence dear
  Protest, "He was too briefly here!"
Still others mutter with a yawn,
  "Oh, was he here? So, has he gone?"
          --Roger White


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